I Wasn't Prepared For....

When you're pregnant you get told a lot of advice, stories, dos, and don'ts. Many people will tell you about their pregnancy and tell you to prepare for certain stages. Like prepare to completely break down when your shirts become belly shirts and your jeans don't go past your hips. Or to prepare for the crazy cravings that hit and you make your husband run to the store after a long day at work. You read all the books, articles, and download a hundred different pregnancy apps all to prepare you for what's ahead. 

I was prepared for every stage of pregnancy. 

Then the closer you get to your due date you'll start to prepare for labor. You'll decorate the nursery, plan baby's coming home outfit, and pack your hospital bag. You'll prepare for labor and delivery by taking a childbirth class and reading articles online. Or you'll watch birth videos on YouTube. 

I was prepared (as much as I could be) to give birth. 

But what I wasn't prepared for was for everything that happens after pregnancy. 

I wasn't prepared to feel such a deep love for someone I didn't even know. Or to shed so many tears. I wasn't prepared to fall even more in love with my husband by watching him turn into a father. Or to cry just by watching him take a million pictures because he just can't get enough of his little girl. I wasn't prepared to feel such a strong sense of being a mama bear. I do everything in my willpower to protect my baby and to keep her safe. 

I wasn't prepared for all the happy dances my husband and I would do over her little burps and for everytime there's a poopy diaper. Or saying bless you everytime we hear a little sneeze. I wasn't prepared for all of the lack of sleep but in those quiet hours of the night are times I cherish because I know one day will come when I won't be awoken and needed at night. 

I wasn't prepared to put someone else's needs before mine so much that I'll forget to eat but it doesn't matter as long as she is happy and taken care of. 

I wasn't prepared to feel a even more deeper connection with my husband as we both learn how to be parents and to figure things out together. Or that my love only grows stronger for him as he gently kisses her forehead everytime he holds her. 

I wasn't prepared to have to hold myself together watching someone prick her foot and squeeze blood out of it to check her jaundice levels every week. But I had to be strong for her because I knew she needed her momma for comfort. 

I wasn't prepared for all the struggles breastfeeding would bring. All the pain I knew. But I wasn't prepared for her to develop breastfeeding jaundice and to be losing weight, and having a doctor basically tell me I'm a horrible mom because it just seemed like she wasn't getting enough to eat. I was told to supplement countless times. Something in me just didn't feel right about formula and I knew breastmilk is the best thing for her.  So I didn't give up. And now her jaundice is almost gone and she's gaining weight. Newborn diapers are a thing of the past and she's now in 0-3 months clothes. 

I wasn't prepared for little eyes to look up at me and smile making my heart just explode. And to shed even more tears seeing her grow up right before my eyes. Or to just stare at her in awe of just how beautiful she is. 

I wasn't prepared for what motherhood would bring. Of course I have wanted to be a mom, probably my whole life. But there aren't any books or apps that prepare you for motherhood. It's just something you learn along the way.

God gave me his greatest gift, and I will always feel incredibly blessed that he chose me to be her mom. And I promise to my daughter that I'll be the best mom to her. 

❤️

One Month

One month! 

How do I have a one month old already?! Time has been flying...didn't I say that a lot when I was pregnant? 

Being a mom is one of the most exhausting, frustrating, and hardest jobs. But it's even more amazing, rewarding, and most joyous. My daughter brings so much joy to my life. Having a baby is such a blessing. It's such an incredible feeling looking down at her and knowing that just 10 months ago she was no bigger than a poppyseed and now she's here in my arms. 

So how has Ellie been?! I decided to continue updates but not of me anymore. I'll be doing monthly updates of her! She's constantly growing and I wanted a way to document(and remember) things. So here's her one month update! 

1 Month

Weight: 7 lbs 8 oz is what she weighed at the doctors. 

Height: 21 3/4 in

Eye Color: Blue gray. But I know they'll change 

Hair Color: Light brown

Diaper Size: Newborn but even those can be a little big depending on the brand. I love the honest company diapers but they seem to run big. 

Clothes Size: Newborn still. I've had to buy more because most of the outfits are 0-3 months and she swims in them still. 

Sleep: Oh little girl, she will sleep amazing if me or her daddy is holding her. But as soon as we put her down she wakes up. We have a little bassinet in our room to keep her close and she just doesn't like it. So far she will sleep 2 hours in it. Hopefully here soon she gets used to it because I'd love longer sleep stretches. 

Eating: Every 2-3 hours during the day. At night she can sometimes go for four hours but that's still rare. She has days where she will want to eat every single hour. You'd think she would be 10lbs with how much she eats. 

Likes: Eating. She would probably just eat constantly if I let her. She loves music, when she fusses we will put music on and she'll get quiet to listen. Loves bathtime. Loves to lay in daddy's lap when he's playing video games. Sleeping cuddled up in a warm blanket close to us, it's my favorite too! Nothing like having a cuddly warm baby. She loves car rides and target trips. 
Dislikes: Getting her diaper changed. Hates it. And being naked in general. Also she hates to be moved if she's comfortable. And really throws a fit if mommy is taking to long to feed her. 
Milestones: She's already holding her head up so much. I've gotten a few smiles and one or two coos. Of course it could be gas. But I'll take it! 
Firsts: She had her first bath in her tub at 2 weeks old. It was hard at first because her daddy has to hold her since she's so little. First target trip when she was just a week old. We took her on her first walk last week since the weather here was unusually warm. She lasted about 5 minutes. 
Personality: Even for being a month old. She already has a tiny personality. But I know it's only going to grow and I'm so excited to see her develop one. 

❤️

I got the outline from this gorgeous momma' blog: http://lauraplusco.blogspot.com/2015/10/emma-1-month.html?m=1

Definitely check out her blog. Her little girl is so adorable!